I still don’t think it’s hit me what an incredible past week this has been. When I first found out that the Whole30 team was interested in sharing my story I couldn’t have fathom what a true honor it really would be.
I walked into Whole30 really desperate and have, with the support from so many people, finally started maintaining a healthy lifestyle. The true definition of healthy. Not the false version that I had convinced myself I was living.
Don’t get me wrong, not all days are easy. Like Friday for example. It was 2 days after my story aired and readers were commenting so many encouraging words and I was getting messages left and right. In disbelief that I was actually going to be able to help somebody in their whole30 journey… Well, I went to Target to pick up a few things and I quickly departed from cloud nine to the unfortunate reality of the Girl Scout cookies being sold at the door. This was the time of year I’d buy several boxes and freeze one or two with the wishful intention of saving them for another time. But the true reality is that I’d probably eat them all in record time, making myself sick, stashing the trash and then work out 30 minutes extra a day to create some healthy facade to trick other people and myself into thinking I didn’t have a problem. Or maybe just masking it so no one else would notice.
So, as I sat in my car, afraid to walk in I began looking at pictures on my phone. Maybe to get some type of inspiration and I came across this gem.
The project I had Women’s Group work on at work this week. In celebration of St. Patty’s day and good fortune I had my patients write down what their “lucky charm” is in their recovery… Meaning, what keeps them afloat and accountable. And it hit me. The dark green shamrock on the left side of the board reads “telling on myself.” How amazing is that? When her triggers surface she calls her support system for accountability. Now, I understand that a box of Somoas and Thin Mints don’t equate to IV heroin but in that moment I was so terrified and afraid that I didn’t have enough self-discipline to walk past that table and not buy those cookies. So, I tattled on myself. I made a phone call for support and got my shopping done with no interference from delicious cookies! I was at that point and still am in single digits of completing Whole60 and it was not worth giving up all my hard work. Am I going to be without Girl Scout cookies for the rest of my life? No. But right now, it’s not something that is going to positively contribute to my journey…. and that’s okay.
So I am standing strong on day 53 and am hopeful that the next week is going to be one to remember.
Thank you all SO much for standing by me through this. I am hoping that many people will be touched by my story and in turn will find the motivation to not only change their lives but can inspire others to do the same.
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