Progress Not Perfection

It’s amazing how the farther I travel in my Whole30 journey the more similarities I find between my story and my hardships and those of my patients.
Just last week I facilitated a group on “the honeymoon phase” of recovery. You know, when you’re first introduced to something new that brings so much joy and happiness to your life, inspiration, love and hope– where you can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and embracing the “newness” of it that you think will last forever? For my patients, it’s finding stability on a medication that makes them not sick or impaired, where they are finally able to see a life without chasing heroin.
For me it was new found pride and hope that I could finally manage my food addiction and cravings and see that I can make it through a day without binge eating or over-exercising.

Regardless, the honeymoon phase (for me at least) was full of motivation, inspiration and encouragement from others which kicked my will-power into high gear and allowed for a successful Whole30, and Whole60.  But like with any recovery process, it starts with you. It’s crucial to have a support system but you’ve got to believe in yourself first.

Now a lot of you that have kept up with my journey know that I did encounter some bad days. Nothing that resulted in devouring a dozen doughnuts, but there were days I wanted to, which is why I extended my Whole30 to Whole60.

As I was nearing the end of my Whole60 I noticed that I was starting to get complacent. I am very familiar with complacency because it is something that I remind my patients to be aware of all the time.  To you it may mean simply being satisfied with where you are in your life, but to me it’s becoming too comfortable with my current situation. And me, like my patients, we have adopted the motto of we are either working on recovery or working on a relapse. There’s always room to grow, room to learn, new triggers to identify.

If you’re not careful complacency can stare you straight in the face when the honeymoon phase is over, and that’s what happened to me.

No, I didn’t run wild through a bakery but during reintroduction, I wasn’t as methodical as I wanted to be. I reintroduced a few gluten free items and oats for breakfast which brought up a previous breakfast of choice which included lots of fruit. Yes, you can have fruit on whole30 but the excess fruit hyped up my sugar cravings.

Oh,

and then Easter happened.

“I made it through an entire 60 days of clean eating so I deserve a 4 pack of Reese’s Eggs”
Wrong.

That’s the equivalent of telling an alcoholic that just got their 90 day chip to celebrate with a pitcher or two at Happy Hour.

I realize that no journey is perfect and from time to time we will fall into a rut and the the honeymoon phase will not last. But it’s maintaining a positive attitude (which I let get the best of me this last week) and go back to the beginning. To go back and remember why I started whole 30 in the first place and it was to change my personal relationship with food.

So, I am taking a step back and I am starting a Whole9 today to get back on track. The Honeymoon Phase is over but the journey has not ended.

I plan on staying Whole30 compliant for a little over a week and re-read the reintroduction part of my Whole 30 Book and write a plan of action so that I set myself up for success with reintroduction. Easter, my cousins wedding and a few other events hit back to back after I completed Whole60 and I rewarded myself too generously. I didn’t gain any weight back, but when that started to become my concern, was my first clue that I needed to take a breather.

One of the nicest people I’ve never met (think that one through for a second) told me earlier today that “everybody has their days/weeks/months and it’s great to express as that you are human, too. Being vulnerable means being human–simple as that.”

It’s taken me longer than my usual time span to get this blog written because I felt like a failure because of the way that I was feeling but, I’m human.  I know that we are our own worst critics, but I have learned the good, bad and the ugly about my relationship with food. If I don’t hold myself accountable, cut myself some slack, and have realistic expectations about this entire process… then how can I expect to help anyone else, which has become the second most important thing to me with my Whole30 story.  So I will leave you with this,

“Being defeated is often a temporary condition, but giving up is what makes it permanent.” -Unknown

Keep your head up Whole30’ers, there’s a ‘whole’ network of support systems for you out there, everything from The Whole 30 Website, blog, Facebook and Instagram and regular ole people like me. All we can do is take it a day at a time, strive for progress, not perfection and remember,  It Starts With Food 🙂

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