Comparisons, judging & then some

Just when I think I’ve got it all figured out I get a hypothetical punch in the gut  (aka, reality check) that {thankfully} kicks me off the pity party train I’m prone to jumping on. Comparison truly is the thief of joy and that’s what I’m experiencing lately. 


I find myself getting frustrated that on the conclusion of my 3rd #whole30 I’m not seeing the physical results that I want…that I desire. But desire for who? Do I truly want to shed the pounds for me? OR is it to look like the beautifully bronzed goddesses of Instagram with their sculpted abs, gorgeous hair, teeny bikini with the good kind of junk in the trunk that everybody swoons over?

 The crappy thing about comparisons are that most of time they are totally useless. Through my fading self-esteem, I can sit back and mope over the bronzed goddess thinking, wishing, that somehow I would channel her inner beauty & wake up with less jiggle and more confidence with a skin tone that magically makes my face look just as flawless as the Valencia Instagram filter does but no matter how hard I try.. 

It’s still my same ole face. My same ole beautiful face. That thanks to the whole 30 is clear, with a glow and less puffy. THAT face that I’ve lost sight of because of my hormonal mind getting the best of me. Yes, I’m getting in my own way. 
Comparisons either make us feel “superior” if we are putting others down or just not good enough if we are constantly trying to be something we’re not. Either way nothing positive comes from this unrealistic train of thought.
 I think in the world we live in its pretty easy to default our thinking to the negative. We have to make a conscious effort to build ourselves up, so today, as I saw my self-confidence plummeting, I decided to take a walk. Get my endorphins pumping, feel the sun on my skin and just have me time. 
As soon as my feet hit the ground  and the music started playing I started remembering the days I wouldn’t have even set foot outside my front door with a tank top shorts on. 90 degrees or not. { give that #nsv a high five) & before I knew it, 30 minutes had past and I felt better. 

Remember ladies and gents. We are human. Unfortunately it’s in our nature to wonder all about the if and when’s and woulda, shoulda coulda’s of the world. 
But the ONLY thing you can change in this crazy thing called life is YOU.
Comparing myself to these models is leading me no where fast. So, my personal goal for the beginning of bathing suit season is…


No more comparing myself to all the things I’m “not” & instead, remembering and APPRECIATING all the things that I am. 
I am Courtney, I am a work in progress, I am married to my dream guy with a kick ass support system and my non-scale victory cup runneth over and well, #iamwhole30. 

So here’s to continuing to learn
who you are and where you want to be. I’m not there yet but I’m well on my way. For me, it starts with food. For you it may be different but keep your head held high beautiful. 
We will get there together. 
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6 thoughts on “Comparisons, judging & then some

  • June 1, 2016 at 1:41 pm
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    Yep – Compare and Despair. . . I find that social media affects me the same way fashion magazines did when I was a kid. Just a few minutes of pining on Instagram/Facebook and my self esteem plummets. What a waste of energy! Good for you for not only pulling yourself back from the ledge, but using your struggle to help others. Being of service is where we find true self esteem (along with taking care of ourselves the best we can). I found your blog yesterday on the Whole30 Website as I was looking for inspiration in my own efforts to back away from that ledge. I too, am realizing that food is my addiction and today is sobriety day 1. Thank you for being so open about your struggles – you certainly helped this girl get it together. This is my 3rd Whole30 in as many years. I've just never been able to make it stick – here's do doing things one day at a time. Best of luck to you. Hope you have a great day.

    Sarah in Indiana 🙂

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  • June 1, 2016 at 3:55 pm
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    Sarah in Indiana, Thank you 🙂 It's a beautiful thing to find hope in other peoples struggles and that's what lead me here, to feeling vulnerable enough to speak about to try and help someone else. I don't want others to have to fall as many times as I did. I'm working on a site, or facebook page to share more easily inspiration and recipes when it comes to clean eating and all around wellness. So, I really hope you stay tuned for that and keep checking back for more info! GOOD LUCK with EVERYTHING! Keep your head held high and you will do wonders!

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  • June 1, 2016 at 3:59 pm
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    Thank you so much for sharing your honest struggles. The battle is real for all of us who struggle with turning to food for comfort. It's a battle worth fighting! Great job with your reality check and for remembering what's truly important instead of letting your negative self talk get the best of you!

    I'm on Day 2 of the challenge and you have inspired me greatly!!

    Tara from Indiana. 🙂

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  • June 1, 2016 at 4:36 pm
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    Thanks Courtney! Yes, Please keep me posted about any Facebook Page, etc. I would certainly be interested! I'm learning that success is all about support, and surrounding yourself with those who have gone before. I can be reached at sarah_hoeppner@yahoo.com, on Facebook under the same name.

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  • June 2, 2016 at 12:48 pm
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    You are so right! having an awesome support system makes all the difference in the world. Sadly, it sometimes requiring cutting people out of your life that constantly bring you down! The facebook page is still a work in progress, but please feel free to check out my instagram page. I try and post inspirational things and recipes on there as frequently as possible! It is, court_coyle

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  • June 2, 2016 at 12:50 pm
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    Look at all these ladies from Indiana! You are rocking it! Keep it up, because it is SO worth it. Even on the bad days, it's worth it so that has to mean something! Turning to food for comfort can be such a harmful thing if it goes without being recognized. I swept it under the rug for far too long!

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