You guys, this weekend threw me for a loop. One of the VERY many things that I learned from Melissa Hartwig at our coaches summit was to only share things that are vulnerable once you personally have had time to process them.
This weekend I was finally setting up the portal for my new doctor’s office (since we just moved) and MUCH to my surprise, once i was all logged in, there on the home page was my vitals + my weight.
Y’all, I haven’t known my weight since day 0 of my first Whole30 in January 2016. And seeing that number made me anxious, scared, and a little bit sick. ONLY because of the past relationship that number and I have. It’s not a healthy one.
It’s even significantly lower than the last time I willingly looked but it was still hard for me to be proud. It was hard to be proud because I have taught myself to never be proud of that number. To fear that number and believe that it will never be low enough. And I’ve worked extremely hard to get away from that mind frame.
I don’t tell you this to scare you into never weighing again but I pride myself in that I am as honest and authentic as I can be with all aspects of my journey, and to my clients as their coach. In hopes you can learn from my setbacks and mistakes and apply them when and where you need to.
Weighing is a personal choice that I opt out of only because historically, knowing it leads to addictive behaviors for me. But, for whatever reason, I was meant to see it before this round of Whole30 starts.
I initially wanted to run for the foods that I thought would make me feel better… but I didn’t. I walked through my if/ then plans. If a situation occurs that makes me want to binge, then I will talk to a friend, journal, stay away from the kitchen, re-read my blog entries from past Whole30’s.
And it worked.
Because of this, I have shifted my intentions for this Whole30 from establishing a better routine, to really getting my mind right. I’m going to take care of my thoughts, emotions & feelings and pay attention to how I respond emotionally to various situations in my life. Not just responses to food.